Joy Found in Thanksgiving

I knew this semester would be busy. I knew I needed to be prepared. I was eager to do the work set before me, excited for the opportunity to intentionally show Christ’s love to others. I was confident in my capabilities, certain that a comfortable equilibrium could be achieved in a busy life through planning and diligence. How pleased the Lord would be that I could handle so well everything he had given me this semester.

Within a week of beginning my busy, but well-planned life, I was exhausted, discouraged. My mind continually running through lists and responsibilities, I found my joy and eagerness to intentionally love others diminishing at a frightening rate.

Being an RA, I returned to school early for training. I spent the time when I had no training responsibilities to read Ann Voskamp’s book, “One Thousand Gifts”. The book examines the need to live a life of thankfulness to God. There is joy to be found in praising God for all he is and the blessings he continually gives.

How void of thanks my life has been since starting a new school year. My joy is not found in “doing” for God. My joy is found in Christ, and my “doing” should be an overflow of thanksgiving. How beautiful and freeing.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” –Colossians 3:16-17 (ESV)

Let gratitude to God saturate my soul, filling the cracks in my heart before they become deeper and wider.

I bought a new Bible today

            It sounds silly, but it was a hard decision for me. I was/am so attached to my old one, but it literally came out of the binding and I knew it was time for a new one.

            I went to what I think is the only Christian bookstore in Stillwater. The woman who helped me check out started to tell me about a Beth Moore Bible study she had done.

            “In the study, Beth Moore talked about how exciting getting a new Bible can be,” she said. “We become attached to the old one, and we sometimes just start to fall back on the old notes we’ve made in it. But when we get a new Bible, it can be an opportunity to read God’s word with ‘fresh eyes,’ allowing God to speak to us in new ways.”

            Letting God reveal new truths to me and not just reminding myself of the old ones…

            What a great way to look at getting a new Bible. (And how fortunate am I to live in a place where I can buy a Bible whenever I want)

            There was another woman working (she was maybe a year or two older than I) who engraved my name on my new Bible. After it was done she came over to where I was standing.

            “Whenever someone buys a Bible we like to pray over it with them,” she said. “Do you mind if we do that right now?”

            Of course I didn’t mind! One thing she said in that prayer stuck out to me more than anything else. She asked the Lord that I would use this Bible to share the gospel with those who need to hear it. Wow. Here is this complete stranger praying that I would grow in the word and then use it to be a witness in the world around me. Every time I think about it I have to remind myself to breathe. I don’t even know what to say. Our Lord is so awesome.

I should be doing homework...

My list of things I need to do seems to multiply every day.

I have to confess that I spent a good deal of time this semester feeling physically and emotionally drained. I also spent more time than I like to admit feeling bad for myself. I’m so embarrassed to admit how many “woe is me” moments I allowed myself to have over the past few months.

Our God is so awesome. (even when my attitude is less than awesome) Whether it was an unexpected letter from a friend or a note left on my door by a resident, God continually encouraged my heart this semester. It’s amazing to look back and see his hand every good thing that has happened.

I read 1 Corinthians 4 today and came across this passage:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (verses 16-18)

“We are being renewed day by day…”

As this crazy semester comes to a close, I am reminded that God renews me every day. If he can give strength to all those believers as they endured more than I can ever image, then I know he can and will provide a little college girl with the strength needed to make it to the end of her semester.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 1 Cor. 4:7

Back to homework…

"Few Are Needed- Indeed Only One"

I can hardly believe it has been almost a month since I have been on here…

 I have been working a lot on getting my major declared and learning about what I need to do to prepare. I find myself thinking about the future… a lot. It really is an exciting place, but can be scary when you don’t know what’s ahead. I honestly have no idea what my future holds. I actually kind of like the thought of this. I like the idea that what is ahead is completely open. Even though I have no idea what it holds, I do know one thing. I want my life where God has placed me to be my ministry. No matter where I am, I want to be where he wants me serving Him. My problem is that I struggle with being too focused on “seeking” what God wants for my life. I feel like I have to plan and worry and constantly be “looking out” for the place he wants me; when all the while he just wants me to simply trust him. There have been times that I have found myself cutting my quiet time short because I think he would rather me do something “productive” that needs to be done. Now what could be a better use of my time then spending it with him, in his word? This is where he teaches me and reveals more of himself to me. Why would I want to cut this time short? But I do. I am reminded of when Jesus visits the home of Mary and Martha. Martha is upset that her sister simply sits with the Lord, while she is busy doing things for him. Here is what the Lord tells her:

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few are needed- indeed only one.” –Luke 10:41

Okay, so I would most likely not be the girl you would find cooking and cleaning (Ask my mom. She’ll tell you.), but I am the girl who finds herself worried and upset. I am the girl who feels the need to be preparing for my future, when all I need is God. He wants me to leave the details to him, seek him continually, and trust that he provide (which he will). Several weeks ago my pastor talked about a time when his family needed to sell a house. They turned down the help of a realtor (despite her warnings that a house in the area couldn’t be sold without help), because they preferred to simply trust God to sell the house in his time. It sold within the month. When we simply trust God for things he always provides in his time and in his way.

“All these kings and all their lands (and there was a lot!!!) Joshua conquered in one campaign, because the Lord, the God of Israel, fought for Israel.” –Joshua 10:42

God will fight for me and provide for me in my future. He wants to do this. He just asks that, like Joshua, I walk in obedience to him.

Everything's Bigger in Texas

My little blog has been neglected (sorry little blog).

There is so much I want to talk about, but I cannot type as fast as my thoughts flow (let the typos begin). Anyway, here we go…

This weekend one of my closest friends and I drove to Texas to see my old roommate. I drove. Driving with me is always an experience (I like to think it is only because I have bad luck). On the way there I only took a dead end street once, got us lost on all the bridges near Fort Worth twice, and only drove on the wrong side of the rode once (Not my fault. Those roads should be marked more clearly.). That may seem like a lot, but for me that is an extremely successful trip.

Not to pick on Texas (I have a lot of family from there and really like it), but people just drive differently there. Everyone seems to be in a hurry and it seems like people are always going somewhere. No one seems to know how to enjoy the experience of driving. Which got me thinking (Oh no, she’s thinking again!)…

“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” –Psalm 130:5

God wants me to wait on him this summer and seek him in all I do. Yet the farther I get into summer, the harder this is being for me. I feel like I am that crazy driver unable to enjoy the journey (something I talked about in an earlier post) and in a hurry to get to my destination. Whatever that destination may be.  I feel like everything around me is moving faster than I want to keep up and I have an obligation to keep pace. Between my job, my summer class, church stuff, attempting to go to the gym, and everything else it is becoming a lot to keep up with. But I don’t think God wants me to keep pace with my life that is becoming increasingly crazier. Keeping pace with all the craziness of being busy means I am going to miss out on him, and things just aren’t even worth it if he is not a part of them. I only find fulfillment in life by seeking him above all this. My suddenly crazy busy summer will always be there waiting for me. I just have to take the time to slow down and make sure I am still letting God be a part of it. Be sure he is still the “destination” I am seeking.

I think it is the writer in me that loves seeing things through analogies, and I love how God has been showing me so much this summer through little things like Texas traffic (Which is really no little thing. Everything really is bigger in Texas. They ain’t just bragging down there.).

I have posted this verse before, but God keeps bringing it to mind. It is a reminder that he knows I need.

“Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.” –Psalm 27:14

This is what I plan on doing.

"I am Free to Run"

My sidewalk chalk interpertation of Lake Hefner

By no means do I profess to be a nature lover. There are too many bugs for me to really love it. Big bugs, little bugs, fat bugs, thin bugs (Dr. Seuss anyone?). Yet, I love being outside despite the bugs. My favorite place to read is outside when it is a warm, sunny day. I had a meeting today, and I left my house early so that I could read out by a lake in Oklahoma City for awhile. I spent some time reading in Psalms and God brought this verse to my attention:

"I will run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." -Psalms 119:32

God is great about showing us things in his word at just the right moment. There is a biking/walking/jogging path/track (I don't know what it is called) that goes around the lake. I thought about all the runners on the path. Many people go running on that path for a variety of reasons. These runners have the freedom to do so because they have feet and legs that are able to work and will carry them. I can run in the path of his commands, because he has given me this freedom.

"And all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." -Romans 3:24

If you can't already tell, I really like analogies, and this runner/path one really got me thinking. A path is something that a person follows, which logically means someone had to already have made this path. I am reminded of a verse in Deutoronomy:

"Then I said to you, 'Do not be terrified, do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God who is going before you will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes." -Deutoronomy 1:29-30

I am able to run in this amazing freedom, because Christ has gone before me and is fighting for me just like he did for the Israelites. What a comforting thought! Maybe I should read by lakes on sunny days more often...

It's a Jungle Out There!

What you see above is an attempt to be creative using sidewalk chalk. The result is nothing short of pure artistic genius (okay, maybe I just copied the picture on the back of the chalk package). I love sidewalk chalk, and I bought some last night after going to dinner with my family. This is no ordinary sidewalk chalk. It is "sidewalk chalk: safari colors edition." Hence, the back of the package had this lovely jungle scene that I did my best to recreate in my parents' driveway. Although the rain will soon wash this masterpiece away, its memory will be forever honored on my quaint little blog.

I have been at a loss as to what to blog about over the past week. Every time I would think about posting, my heart just wasn't in it. I didn't know why this was, but then I realized that neither had my heart been in my daily time spent alone with the Lord. The world is so full of distractions for me. When I picture a person standing in a jungle (kind of like the one I drew), I imagine that the person would be overwhelmed by all the different noises, animals, bugs(unfortunately), plants... There is an entire "jungle" of things in my life that constantly vie for my attention. It is so hard at times to not let these "jungle noises" distract me from spending time with God.

"Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them." -Psalm 111:2

I read this verse during one of my quiet times earlier this week. It really convicted me. As I sat reading this verse, I was reading my Bible only to check it off my "daily Christan duties list." Instead of merely reading God's word, I should be delighting in it! It is full of his works, his faithfulness, his power, and the list goes on. This brings to mind for me a verse in James:

"Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." -James 1:22

These verses really make me think about how I read God's word. Am I delighting in the things of him when I read it? Am I reading it to be instructed, challenged, and convicted? Or am I just reading to mark it off my "list?" Unfortunately my answers are usually "no" to the first two questions, and "yes" to the last one. It shouldn't be this way for me, and it saddens my heart that it often is. If I am not being intentional when I spend time in God's word then how is my heart and my mind going to be ready to notice all the "abundant sunshine" God has for me in it?